My facebook life

So an old acquaintance posted something on my Facebook like this...

"Your updates have me thinking you take daily hits of the nitrous"

And so I write, "Abigail, you knew me in college, and I'm way more watered down now".

The post she was referring to was the following...

"Rawrrr!!!! It means I love you in Dinosaur"

And then I thought about all of the posts I write about how much fun it is to poop, and then to have gas, and then my rants about the poor, and socialism, and lazy people. And then I post things about Homer Simpson...you get it, it's random, and most posts have me giggling like a schoolgirl, then informing my wife of how clever I am, and she says, "Huh?!...I love you Matty"

So then I write back to Abigail, "I have no idea why my wife married me, it's like a daily Facebook newsfeed of wondrous and completely useless updates".

And the life of MattyJ rolls by, legendary moment after legendary moment in my own mind.

When we have kids, I expect life to still be a fun zoo of Facebook posts, silliness, and overall bathroom humor. There is a saying that kids "learn what they live". My family learned me how to laugh at bodily functions. Every family get together my aunt (generally 10 minutes into each meal) says, "Can we not at least have one meal without discussion about bodily function?"

There is not a closing to such a post like this.